Change your mind and you change your presentation

Some performances you never forget. For example, the other day I was in a theater in Uitgeest. I was about 10 minutes into my cabaret performance and I felt it was going quite well. This could be a very enjoyable evening. I literally thought, "I'm going to rock it tonight."

Until my attention went to someone on the side in the second row. Because of the little hall light, I could just barely see this man and the rows behind were dark. He looked unfriendly. Quite angry actually. And immediately my thoughts ran away with me: "he doesn't like me at all." I got upset about it, increased the pace and took less rest. And so the evening became rushed and less fun for me.

What actually happened and what could I have done?

In cognitive behavioral therapy, behavior is often explained as a kind of chain reaction. Events and their interpretations lead to certain thoughts and feelings, which in turn determine a person's behaviors. And this, of course, in turn affects the situation a person is in at the time. We call this the 6G model.

When presenting, for example, this is:
Event: I just started presenting.
Thoughts: I don't think what I say really comes across.
Feelings: I feel insecure.
Awareness (physical): I take a step back. I make myself smaller. I start talking faster; my energy slumps. My voice volume goes down.
Behavior: I finish my presentation to get rid of it as quickly as possible. I even skip a bit.
Consequence: My presentation didn't come across.

The thoughts that arise that influence your behavior and thus the situation don't come out of nowhere. They are often little voices that we have carried with us for years and that come up again and again during stressful events such as presentations. Everyone has their own variation: "My English should be much better", "I don't really have anything interesting to say", "My colleagues can do this much better than me". But ultimately they are all variations on the same theme: I'm not good enough.

Not surprisingly, such negative thoughts about ourselves - also called limiting beliefs - affect our behavior. And so can become self-fulfilling prophecies.

How can you deal with them? The most important thing is to break the chain. This can be done in many ways. For some, another preparation is enough. Others swear by visualizations; a powerful method in which you present your performance as a resounding success. Many an NBA player literally scores better because of it, and it's also a proven concept for presenting. Earlier we explained the "feeling spiral," a mindfulness-like exercise in which, by naming your thoughts and physical manifestations, you allow them to take hold of you less. And breathing exercises are also a powerful remedy.

Or, you replace the weakest link. You exchange the limiting belief for a helping one. Think of top athletes who learn to frame nerves not as an obstacle, but a necessity to perform better. This "reprogramming" can be learned and can be trained.

No doubt you have plenty of such examples while presenting. Work out an example for yourself along the 6 G's. And see if you can put a helping thought opposite. It would create a whole different chain.

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Written by Maurits Koster