More relaxed presenting with this exercise!

During coaching and training sessions, participants often ask me, "Rutger, do you ever get nervous when you have to go on stage?" My answer is: "Yes, almost always. And I am happy about that". As a young rower, I discovered that tension can actually help me. My rowing coach taught me that nerves are a reaction of my body preparing for an extraordinary performance. That realization alone was helpful. I learned to embrace tension instead of fighting it.

Today we teach participants in our programs a very powerful exercise. An exercise from mindfulness. We call it "The Spiral of Feeling."
It is very simple but also mega effective. Let me explain the exercise to you.

We have feelings and thoughts all day long. Like a pendulum, we swing between positive and negative emotions. Your colleague tells you the pitch won: proud and happy! Next moment the coffee machine turns out to be broken: irritation!

We want to experience positive feelings; we prefer to push negative feelings away. Especially when it is critical: on stage for example! But what happens then? Then you run the risk that they 'take over' and you end up with fight, flight or hide reactions with exactly the effect you wanted to avoid (just look at the three videos below...)

For Ohio Councilman Phil Davidson, tension causes a fight reflex.

For director Michael Bay, tension causes a flight reflex.

With BMW CEO Harald Krüger, tension creates a hide reflex that culminates in a "shutdown."

To avoid being hijacked by negative thoughts, it helps to speak them out loud. By doing so, you give yourself permission, so to speak, to experience these emotions, making them feel less threatening. You can do this alone, but the feeling of relief is even greater when you share them with someone with whom you feel safe. After you spend 2 minutes naming your feelings and thoughts, you experience more relaxation and freedom to tell your story. Your listener only has to listen. No advice or well-meaning tips are necessary; the magic is in the sharing with which you set the pendulum back in motion.

The effects of this exercise are astounding. Not only does it reduce stress prior to a presentation, during speaking people are more present and able to respond to what is happening in the moment. Here is a win for audience and speaker; after all, a relaxed speaker creates a relaxed audience. We remain social animals.

Do you feel that speaking anxiety is getting in your way? Contact us.