Three tips for building a deeper connection with your audience

Our middle daughter is four. She often gets excited about her baby sister. Then she starts pulling, tugging, hitting, squeezing; usually just too hard. Crying is never a sign to stop. It drives us crazy, but weird is not. Only from the age of four do we slowly develop empathy. And we can empathize with the other person: "If I punch her in the face, it hurts her." We can't wait.

They are not going to see it until you see through them

That change from little psychopath to empathetic fellow human makes our species fairly unique. For example, no other animal gets clammy hands from an exciting thriller. Whereas we scream sweatily at the TV when a little boy threatens to fall into the hands of an evil clown.

At the same time, we easily get caught up in our own experience. An argument or irritation rarely starts because you empathize too much with the other person. We also see this natural tendency to take only ourselves as the starting point in presentations. Because let's face it, who by default starts their preparation with the question: how will they sit with me in the audience? A shame, because the formula is simple: if you are blind to your audience, you can never open their eyes. Or more Cruijffian: they're not going to see until you see through them.

A good speech or presentation knows how to move people. Recognition and acknowledgement are crucial. Only in their own world can you touch them.

How?

So, for example, do you want to get people on board with a transition? Then don't immediately start telling them that they have to adapt or how many opportunities this creates. First acknowledge the uncertain feeling that these changes can create in your audience. With this acknowledgement, you create calmness that will then allow them to listen to your story. Or are you trying to convince your audience of an idea or approach? Don't sprinkle in arguments, but outline a pain that is recognizable to them so that they think, "ah, they understand me!" In doing so, you immediately provide the most important proof that you have the right solution in store.

Now if I put myself in your shoes as a reader, you're probably thinking, "Fine, but how?

Therefore, here are three tips for getting to know your audience:

1. Map sentiment

Before you begin the content of your presentation, answer a few questions about your audience. How do they feel about you and your topic? What do they think is important? Are there certain words that evoke positive or negative feelings? What do they need to quietly listen to your story?

Don't be too quickly satisfied, see if you can figure out the needs and sentiments behind the initial answers.

Then take one (fictional) person from your audience and describe him or her in detail, keeping these answers in mind.

You never know everything; a little estimating is allowed. But, as this exercise also shows, be careful with assumptions!

. Put yourself in the shoes of your audience

You now have a pretty good idea of what that (fictional) person is like and what is important to them. Have yourself interviewed as that person by a colleague or friend. So you become for a moment that woman or gentleman from your audience. Also answer in the first person. In this way you express the feelings your audience has.

That Balkenende did not think in advance which reaction a certain word would evoke, he proved with this classic, which haunts him to this day:

. Dare to name what you have learned

Tips 1 and 2 are not enough. Many people are reluctant to make audience emotions and sentiments explicit. From the idea: "If I don't name it, it's not there." Or, "If I name it, it will only get worse." The opposite is true. If you ignore what is going on in the room, they drop out or you increase resistance. We all want to be seen and acknowledged. Addressing gives confidence, peace and space for your message. Which, by the way, is not to say that it's always a walk in the park afterwards...

Robert F. Kennedy articulated the sentiments of the crowd, then they were receptive to his message of hope.

Would you also like to learn how to build a deeper connection with your audience?

In our in-company in-depth training you will find out who you are as a speaker, what you have to say and how to engage your audience.

For more information contact Janneke Boumans: janneke@speaktoinspire.nl!